one of life's little pleasures

JACK: What's this? A question of sexual orientation? The doctor is in.
GRACE: Oh, Jack.
WILL: No. No, Jack has the most finely tuned gaydar in the tri-state area.
JACK: Do do do--do do do ding! [POINTS AT WILL]
WILL: He can name a gay guy in one note.
JACK: Ah, yes. Many have sought my counsel on this subject. They say, "Jack is a wise man. Jack is a dangerous man. Jack is a great man." No. Jack is just a man. A man who knows men who like men. Bring to me the facts.
WILL: Ok. In his bathroom, he had 3 magazines, and one of them was Martha Stewart's Living.
GRACE: He also had Basketball Digest.
JACK: Ahh! You both make compelling points, but I believe the truth is to be found in the third magazine.
WILL and GRACE [TOGETHER]: Vanity Fair.
JACK: Unless it's Vanity Fair.
GRACE: You're right, Will. He is good.
JACK: Now, there is one question you can ask that will reveal the truth. I hesitate to share this secret with you, for it has awesome power.
GRACE: What would that question be?
JACK: [INHALES DEEPLY] Are... You... Gay?
WILL: Thank you, Homo Wan Kenobi.

BIP

Why can't I be a Harajuku Girl?

I♥Jay

♥ Ever been enjoying an enjoyable movie, in an enjoyable theater with enjoyable friends? Noshing on enjoyable snacks while wearing enjoyable clothes and very enjoyable shoes? But...then something happens. In my case I was at my favorite Carmike Theater watching I♥Huckabees with a friend. Eating a hotdog and a some popcorn. Oink oink. I will never fit into size 30 Levis now…but anyway. That is besides the point. Don’t let me get distracted. So I am watching I♥H when at the end Jude Law as Brad Stand mutters “How Am I Not Myself?” I was floored. I hate having to think or do I enjoy the opportunity to ponder the nothingness of being the struggle that is life with oneself? Either way I thought about it all night. "How am I not myself?" Whether I want to be, I am me.

Kurt, what does this mean?

I have no clue what the skeletons are doing. Someone please explain...OK OK Just kidding...they are inflating each other.

Too scary...

I did my part today and voted. It felt good. I recommend everyone start doing it. Even if you are Republican, get out and vote. Just don't pay crack addicts to fill out 300 voter registration cards. That is kinda low. Make them fill out the cards, then deny them the crack. They shouldn't be doing crack. Whitney says crack is cheap. And Whitney don't do cheap.

Dangerous Computer Viruses:

Watch out for these new viruses - - Neither Symantec, Norton, nor McAfee have solutions as yet!

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves... but will be back!
Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy - then discards it through Windows.

The pancake diet

As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

From the too cute to not post files

Meet Dusty...the trail weary gay cowdog.

Things we probably shouldn't put on the boo grams . . .

Top ten Halloween things that sound dirty but aren't

10. She's a goblin!
9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack.
8. Let me see your bag....OH! You're having a great night!
7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch
5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.
3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth,
2. You scared me stiff!
And the #1 Halloween thing that sounds dirty but isn't...
1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

Tiger puzzle

Jessica calls Nick and says, "Please come over here and help me.... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Nick asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" Jess says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Nick decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "Jess, first of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." Nick took her hand and said, "Second, I'd want you to relax..... Let's have a nice cup of coffee, and then ......." Nick sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."